Wednesday, March 23, 2011

(Most) of what I really hate in comics


Namaste, bitches.

I have been dragging my feet about this post(mostly because I hate so many things about comics, I found it hard to narrow it down. Here it is, no edits, one take. In no order whatsoever:

Time dilation
Jubilee and the inside jokes. Gah. I understand that it takes money to run comics, and that when you create an iconic character, you don't want them to die. The problem is, I do. I want to pick up my favorite action magazine and see them get wrinkles, gray hairs, discuss the perils of age on their crimefighting. That's interesting to me. The closest that we get to it is the Justice Society, but they don't age.

Women's costumes
Average male costume, almost completely covered and armored, even when they might be physically tough enough to not require it, yet their female counterparts are in fishnets, high heels, and a bikini, and they are expected to jump across rooftops and dodge bullets. Titillating, yes, but also insulting and sexist, and I have to say that the skimpier the bikini, the crappier the story that needs to be covered up.

Women in Refrigerators
Wonder Woman fulfills her role as a warrior goddess and is shunned and... hunted? Every female in the Bat-family is visited by some horrible fate. The Bat-boys come out smelling like a rose. (WIR)

Event comics
I just want to read about my favorite characters and not spend an extra 30 bones a month to keep from knowing what the story is about.

Batman is how old again? He is in his thirties, right? Maybe forties? How old is Dick Grayson, because he started in his early teens, and is a fully grown adult, and I daresay, almost the same age as Bruce Wayne. Then bring up that Tim Drake is also getting up there in years, which forces me to ask; how is this supposed to make sense?
More on that, Batman dies. I rejoice, cue the Battle for the Cowl. I cheer as they pit the various characters who have equal claim to the title of Batman. Dick Grayson comes out on top, and we see Damian Wayne as the new Robin, and Stephanie Brown as the new Batgirl. In the wake of the death of one of the greatest comic characters ever, a new chapter unfolds. We are about to witness something interesting, folks. I am a little less overjoyed, but still holding on. Then I catch wind that Bruce Wayne is *fighting his way from the beginning of time to the present day through time travel*
I am utterly disgusted. DC comic's lack of creative balls once again leaves me with egg on my face. All of that emotional and financial investment into the story, and they brought him back. I imagined everyone at 1700 Broadway laughing at me "silly bastard, Jack. We aren't going to sacrifice Batman for the sake of good storytelling!"

General insults to my intelligence/ dollar.
Chuck Austen is my favorite offender. His Uncanny X-men run was illogical, and rife with too many of his personal issues. Ruined the book.


-Mind the gap

1 comment:

  1. "...and I have to say that the skimpier the bikini, the crappier the story that needs to be covered up."

    Well said.